Permanence

"Remember God and He will remember you. Remember God and you will find Him on your side. If you lean on anything, lean on God. And know that if all the world came together to benefit you in something, they can only benefit you in something God has ordained for you."

After two weeks home in NY, I am now back again living on an island in the Caribbean. At least now, after 4 months of living here, I am content. I am comfortable.

Upon returning, I reminisced over my initial four months here.

In the beginning I was sad. Very sad. I was away from home. I longed for all that I knew and loved in NY. But I knew time would pass and that I would get over it. After about a month, I did get over it. Of course, I continued to feel homesick now and again. Random thoughts of home would trigger my nostalgia. Mostly though, my feelings became apathetic. Indifferent. I consciously trained my mind to ignore feelings of homesickness. Inwardly, I worked towards being content. During this time, I was reminded often of the Quranic verse in Surah Ra'd, "Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest".

I also came to realize a concept most of us take for granted: the fleeting nature of this world. On the Day of Judgment, we will remember the time we spent here to be that of a few days. Only a few days. 


And this begs one to ponder over the temporal nature of this life, and by extension forces one to ask the question: What in my life is permanent? People? Things? Emotions? Somberly, we all know the answer; nothing is permanent. 

At first, I was saddened by all that I missed back home, but even then I came to realize these things I longed for were not lifelines. My home, my family, my friends... I was able to live without them.  So I was also reminded that they too were not permanent. What surprised me the most is that it only took me a couple of weeks to get over the intense sadness I felt initially. To be honest, it scared me that I wasn't as in need of all those that I loved and "needed". It scared me because I realized I could live in this world without them; I realized even my most beloved attachments in this life are fleeting. Loved ones will pass away. Possessions will leave. Even I will cease to be.

After all is gone, only God remains. "All that is on the Earth will perish, except for the Face of your Lord..." (Surah Rahman). 

Only He is permanent. Only He lasts. Only Him and everything that is associated with Him."Whatever is for God, lasts and stays connected, and whatever is for other than Him, is cut off and separated."

So when we naively, aggressively attach ourselves to what is of this world, we only find disappointment. Because every thing is fleeting as we speak. What we love and what we cherish will not always be here. Unknowingly, this is what I was doing. This is what we all do. We attach our hearts wholly to people and things in this world and when these people and things are no longer there, we miss and long for what is no longer present. If only we weren't so attached to begin with. But we are humans and God has created our hearts in this way. So we learn to attach ourselves to what is important then and only in moderation.

What I failed to appreciate initially is that now I am actually blessed to have the benefit of seclusion. I live alone and my life (outside of school) is mostly one of solitude. Not loneliness, but true solitude. I am reminded of the Prophet, peace be upon him, who found comfort in solitude. He would leave the people, the distractions of his world, to ponder over his noble existence. And it is in the comfort and blessing of solitude and being 'alone', the greatest event known to the believers took place, Lailatul Qadr (the Night of Power); and the greatest gift and miracle was bestowed upon this Ummah (community), the Quran.

When one is surrounded by many people and things, it is easy to get immersed in it all. As much as one wants to focus on God, it becomes difficult. But when blessed with time alone, one is able to reflect over his relationship with God. It is then he is truly reminded that it is only God Who is Ever-present. For when no one else is present during those moments alone, He is. "He is with you wherever you are" (Surah al Hadid).

I am blessed to have this time of solitude in my life. I am blessed that He has given me this opportunity: the opportunity to realize that nothing is Permanent, except Him. And that all that is in this world- people and possessions- should only serve as a means towards Him.